Inkspot Staff

Collin Houldsworth suffering from zombie-ification.

It’s no secret that zombies have infected almost every form of American media, from TV shows like The Walking Dead to video games such as The Last of Us. Media seems to have caught the zombie bug and while the specific zombie fiction may differ, the one thing that always stays the same is that characters like Rick from The Walking Dead ,characters whose stories takes place in a serious post apocalyptic zombie world, don’t live good or fulfilling lives. Rather, the way they live is more akin to animals.

Despite this, many zombie fans insist that they want the apocalypse to happen and they even go so far as to boast about how prepared they are. Even the CDC, a serious government organization, has plans in place for a zombie apocalypse.  These “survivors” often exchange ideas and tips for surviving the apocalypse such as going into the local Wal-Mart and hiding out for the rest of their natural life. And while it exchanging these ideas around the water cooler may just be harmless fun an actual  zombie apocalypse would be the worst thing to ever happen to anyone ever.

Lets discuss for a minute some zombie apocalypse stats.

Most zombie stories generally take place a few weeks after the initial outbreak with most of the population being converted to zombies such as  Zombie Land. A very high estimate would be a 3:7 survivor zombie spread, again most stories such as I Am Legend have like 4 survivors and thats just the movie. The book has like one survivor so assuming that 30% of people survive is so unheard of it’s almost classifies as a different genre.

Scenario one is you are part the 70 percent that dies, this is also the much more likely one seeing as how most people have no real survival skills and no real training.

Scenario two means that you survive the first two weeks getting stuck with the misfortune of having to watch everything and everyone you’ve ever loved get ripped to shreds by zombies.

Continuing with scenario two –  after surviving the first two weeks, it’s time to start taking some action.  Many will try to find supplies at stores such as Wal-Mart and again this proposes two scenarios. Scenario one, and again the more likely one, is that when you arrive at Wal-Mart you are immediately gunned down in the parking lot because high supply areas like that will almost immediately become a warzone for every bandit with a gun in a ten mile radius, The Walking Dead does a good job covering this.

Scenario two means that you were smart enough to avoid any high supply or populated areas and instead deciding to hide and live in the forest and once there some ex-military psycho will shoot you in the back of the head with a bow and arrow from 200 meters off because he wanted your beans.

That obviously isn’t the only way the zombie apocalypse could pan out. However despite any differences they may have all, zombie scenarios end the same way. You will either die from your own stupidity, get torn to bits and eaten by zombies, or get murdered by some bandits.

Don’t believe that? Play Dayz Standalone it is seemingly the most “accurate” zombie apocalypse game ever. You will spawn, run for an hour, find some useful items, and then you will get shot by some other player just after he got done telling you he wouldn’t shoot.

The zombie apocalypse wouldn’t be fun. It would be a living hell for anyone unlucky enough to live in it, and sure while the idea of being a hardcore survivor may sound cool but try living two weeks without taking a shower and you’d realize rather quickly that you’d rather not live a post apocalyptic world.