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For this special edition of the Sweet Spot, the Inkspot staff put 10 popular Halloween candies to the test, dissecting the selections from two variety packs.
97% of Americans planned to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters this year, according to the National Confectioners Association, so what do people really want?
Which candies don’t survive to see November? Which are destined to die slow deaths in the back of the kitchen cabinet?
Read our rankings below and uncover which candies we were gob(b)lin’ up and which felt more trick than treat.
10 – Whoppers
According to one Inkspotter, Whoppers taste like “chalk covered in chocolate.”
On our (highly scientific) one to ten rating scale, ten wasn’t terrible enough for one reporter — who rated Whoppers a resounding 29.
What is a malted-milk ball anyway? How does one malt milk? What even is malt?
A quick Wikipedia search describes malted milk as gruel. Literally. Gruel.
This seems pretty apt as the experience of trying to finish all three Whoppers in the package was grueling.
While the Inkspot has Whoppers ranked as their overall least favorite candy — one staffer member had them as his number one.
Questioned about the sanity of this choice, the staffer responded: “Of course I like Whoppers; I am a functional member of society.”
This begs the question: Which era of society?
Whoppers taste like the rations Revolutionary War soldiers would have received, like something that a Charles Dickens’ character would eat, like a Great Depression era enjoyment.
These should be given to children only as punishment.
9 – Heath Bar
The ninth-ranking Heath Bar “definitely should not exist,” one staffer said. “Whatever is in it tastes terrible and probably gave me six cavities.”
That filling — toffee.
Who under the age of eighty eats toffee?
That could be because biting into a Heath Bar requires dentures. Try chomping into a Heath, and you might chip a tooth.
While our reviews thought the chocolate tasted good, they weren’t nuts for the toffee taste — describing it as “too earthy,” “too strong,” and “too artificial.”
Overall, the mix of chocolate and toffee wasn’t an even balance.
8 – Rolo
Rolo rolled in at eighth place. While the combination of caramel and chocolate is a classic, the Rolo makes the experience feel both overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.
The tiny treat is “too much,” said one reviewer. One bite into the chocolate capsule unleashes a violent wave of gooey caramel, leaving the teeth coated in the sugary substance.
Another staffer said that there was “too much caramel.”
The two ingredients, chocolate and caramel, traditionally mix well. But with the Rolo, the classic pair felt like a poor match.
The staff’s consensus was that the Rolo is just too simple. Something felt missing. (Like salt? Every try a Rolo melted on a pretzel? Do it. Live a little.)
7 – Snickers
Snickers didn’t really satisfy our staff’s taste buds.
Despite the slogan “You’re not you when you’re hungry”, Snickers couldn’t satiate our appetite for something delicious.
The combo of caramel, chocolate, peanuts and nougat proved to be an improvement over the lackluster Rolo. But some of our staff found the peanuts perplexing. While they added a much-needed texture, like Goldilocks, the Inkspot writers couldn’t reach a consensus — were they too hard, too soft, just right?
Several staffers ranked Snickers in their top three candies of the day, but it wasn’t anyone’s favorite.
One reporter summed Snickers up by saying, “It’s not a bad candy, but never the one I first reach towards.”
6 – Milky Way
Ranking sixth, the Milky Way isn’t out of this world, but the treat is reliable — milk chocolate, marshmallowy nougat and caramel.
The lack of peanuts elevated the Milky Way’s ranking among the staffers that weren’t so nuts about the Snickers.
The lack of crunch cost it with other reporters.
The battle for the middle of our rankings really seemed to be about personal preference as multiple staffers noticed the similarities between 7th-ranked snickers, 6th-ranked Milky way, and …
5 – 3 Musketeers
“A boring Milky Way” is how one staffer described the 3 Musketeers. Another staffer noticed the similarities, describing the 3 Musketeers as a caramel-free Milky Way.
It’s simpleness is what the staff liked — the two ingredient combo of chocolate and fluffy filling.
The consensus? The 3 Musketeers was “rich and smooth,” but for some, just a tad “too sweet.”
4 – Kit Kat
Ranking fourth, Kit Kat was arguably the least controversial candy on our list; of our 14 staffers, four ranked Kit Kat at 2nd and two had it at 3rd.
And while it never reached the top spot, it never fell below eighth-place.
It’s a certified classic – a chocolate-covered wafer with a satisfying crunchy.
No divisive nuts, nougat, or caramel. Nothing controversial. It’s a go-to candy with just the right amount of chocolate — always a guaranteed crowd-pleaser.
3 – Starburst
As the only fruit-flavored candy among nine chocolate bars, Starburst made it into the top three because of its uniqueness. After loads of caramel and chocolate, it acts as much needed palate cleanser.
Three staff members had Starburst topping their lists at number one, with one describing the chewy treat as “exquisite.”
One benefit of Starburst are its flavor options. While every 3 Musketeers tastes like a 3 Musketeers (or even a Milky Way), Starburst offers two individually-wrapped, distinct fruit-flavor packed options – blackcurrant, lemon, orange or strawberry.
It is safe to say that Starburst offered some much-needed variety in what Hershey and Mars marketed as “variety packs.”
2 – Twix
Twix was the runner-up in the Inkspot staff’s ranking, offering the perfect amount of crunch and a proportionate ratio of mouth-melting chocolate and caramel. The flavor, as described by one writer? “Incredible.”
Unwrapping a Twix, one staffer said, you can already taste “the crunch.”
The Twix’s texture has a highlight for the Inkspotters, one noted it was “my favorite texture,” another described it as having “all the right textures.
The caramel-chocolate bar ranked among most staffer’s top five, breaking the top-three for five times.
1- Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
“Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups,” one reviewer said, “are everything you could want in a candy; salty and sweet, smooth rich chocolate with a delightfully textured surprise inside.”
Reese’s can be controversial — is the peanut butter artificial? Is the ratio of chocolate to p.b. right?
But the Inkspot’s consensus earned the top spot in our rankings.
Five staffers ranked Reese’s as their number one.
Among our staffers, the cups were described as “pleasing,” “smooth, sweet, and savory” and “a chef’s kiss.”
The narrator in a 2021 Reese’s commercial says “Every Halloween, millions of Reese’s cups just disappear, don’t worry they’re in a better place now,” That place? Most likely, the Inkspot staff’s stomachs.